He visits

It was hot, too hot to be comfortable. My hair stuck to my face, and my cheeks were red partly from the heat, and partly because i was nervous. I slipped on my cut off jeans, and a loose tank top trying to be as comfortable as I could in the heated room. As soon as I opened the door a cool breeze rushed over me, and my stomach growled with the smell of eggs and bacon. Looking at the time I couldn’t help but be exstatic, he would be here any minute. My phone rang it was him, he had just accidently passed the house and was turning around. I checked myself one more time in the mirror, I was going for a casual/sexy summer look. According to his face when he saw me, I succeeded. I’m at him in his arms, and nothing else can quite beat that feeling. he picked me up and squeezed me tight, and I couldn’t help but laugh at my own power over home. He smiled and stared, I didn’t look away until we broke into laughter. I was ackward at first, it had been 2 months since I’d seen him last. He looked and felt so familiar that it made everything else feel out of place.

Safe with you

I often wondered…. Will I ever feel whole and complete?  The truth is I feel complete with you; safe with you; at ease with you; Every moment with you is the new most magnificent moment of my life. I love to get lost in your eyes, in your smile, and I wish to never return to this grief-stricken reality. My desire for you is the one thing that will never change, places, people, ideas, and dreams change but you remain. You will always be the one I love. The one I fight for, the one I live for, the one I would die for. So much in this life is a facade, an illusion and untrue to itself. But you my dear are the most real thing I’ve ever seen or felt; true to the very core of who you are. You aren’t the illusion of what I want, you aren’t someone who’s close enough to what I want. You are exactly what I want in every sense, every part of you, every idea you share with me, every word you speak to me. I keep you close, closer then my skin. If I was to lose you, I would lose the very breath in my lungs. I woud become cold and lifeless, unable to die but not truly living. My heart has gone with you, kept warm in your hands. Detached from my chest it still beats an irregular heart beat to every move you make, and then I find myself moving along with the rhythm of your beating heart kept safe in my arms.

A love that can only be found once.

 There was a small town girl with dreams too big to capture. Dreams to see the ends of the earth, to write, read, and love. Dreams to enjoy all the parts of her life that she was too scared to bring to light. Love was not a game to her, Love was not a show for others to marvel at. Love was not a decision to made at a certain age. Love was not an accident. Love, for her, was a magical find. A find that only happens once for real, and lasts forever. She was surrounded by those who played with love, that saw it as a petty emotion, much like lust. Something that only lasts for the night. This girl, never dreamed of that love. She dreamed of a love that was surprise her and leave her sleepless with excitement for the next day. Sure others thought she was living in a fairy tale, but she knew better. Boys came and gone, made their passes and tried to convince it was love. But she recognized the illusions of love before they got too close to hurt. She was determined to see her dreams come true, to travel, write music that moves people, and read books that would move her. She had made up her mind to make life an adventure and to live it to the fullest. Love found her unexpectedly, younger then she had pre-determined. But she knew it was Love, she felt it in her bones, She saw it in his eyes. She saw honesty, integrity, and desire in his eyes and she was caught off guard by his captivating smile. And so they lived their life of love as beloved. They loved, they dreamed, they wrote and they read. Deep in their souls they were connected with the only Love they had ever known. A love that wasn’t game, or a show for others marvel at. They lived a love that was honest and true, that could hold steady through the worst and best times, A love that can only be found once.

Your my ever after

You calm my racing heart beat with your kind words. You tell me love me, and you’ll come back for me as soon as you can. You promise that your mine and that you would die without me. As the tears fall and stain my cheeks; you kiss them with soft lips. I see the fear in you, but my dear I swear you aren’t the cause of the sadness that you see in my eyes. The pain takes my breath away and your kiss gives that breath back to me. I breathe you in like fresh air. Your arms are home, and your words are a blanket that cover my every wound and every scar. You can’t possibly comprehend the depth of my love for you. The love that I feel in my bones, that aches in my gut as you drive away. That same love fills the room when we stand together, the love that is hot to the touch on our skin. I am speechless at the sight of you, and I am overwhelmed with every touch. I go through the motions everyday, just waiting to talk to you, to hear your sweet voice; thats what gives me hope; thats what gives me joy. When I was younger I never thought love existed, I thought it was for fairy tales. Your my fairy tale, your my prince, your my ever after.

beautiful

You have no idea how beautiful you are. Beautiful is the only word I can use to describe you. Your a mystery to me, your a book I’ve never read, a song I’ve never heard. I’m stuck on you, and I can’t get you out of my mind. My heart skips a beat when you walk in a room, I sound like a cheesy love song, but it’s true…. I wonder about you through out my day. I’m afraid to stare into your eyes, but I want to know what your thinking. I never thought I would be that girl who fumbled her words around someone, I’ve never been effected by a man like this. Who are you? What are you? I want to know you, I want you to know me… But I’m scared that you wont like what you find out.  Am I what you want? Do you think of me at all? I feel insignificant, silly, and foolish. Only your words will calm my beating heart, only your reassurance will put me at ease.

Beautiful Boy

You turned up on my door step looking more beautiful then ever. Ive never seen a boy like you, with curly dark brown hair; dark brown eyes; a smile that stopped my heart; a look of chivalry; arms that are strong and hold me close to you, but so gentle at the same time. I find myself watching you every moment I spend with you I keep under lock in key. I can’t let any of it go to waste. Because to me your like a dream, to me your everything I never thought I deserved. I love to be close to you, close enough to hear your breath going in and out of your lungs. When you kiss me I can’t help but close my eyes, and catch my breath. It’s like I’m flying, and your hands are holding me in the air.My beautiful boy I can still taste you on my lips; I can still smell you on my shirt; I can still feel you on my skin. The absence of you is the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. The tears you kissed away flow like a river now that your gone. My body feels empty without your arms around it, and I sleep so long that I lose track of the days…. waiting for you to return to me, waiting to be held in your arms, waiting for my breath to be taken away by your kiss, your lips soft on mine. Overwhelming me with your scent, and surrounding me in your love. My heart aches for you, it beats for you my Beautiful Boy. I will wait you for as long as it takes, until eternity. I have planned my life out around you, as scary as that may be. I can’t think of another way to spend my life, and If I don’t have you I can’t go on. You’ve left me with your heart, and you’ve left with mine. We can’t live for very long without eachother, feeling your heart beat in my hands, and I remember every moment, every perfect moment spent with you my beautiful boy. Keep me safe in your strong arms, curl me up in your bed, and pull the covers over our heads until the storm is passed. I’ve never loved like this. You are my Beautiful boy, and I am your beautiful girl. So I here I sit, waiting for you to show up on my door step one last time.

dream vs. reality

She walked down the street on a late Monday morning, the wind was cold on her face, so cold it made her eyes water. She couldn’t help but think out loud about what she had just heard, seen and felt. It was unexpected, and completely random. She started to sing to herself a sad song that she had fallen asleep to the night before. She didn’t feel bad for skipping classes, She didn’t feel anything at all, She just kept walking. She hadn’t seen you in 2 years, but there you were waiting by the steps. She was overwhelmed instantly by anger and love for you all at the same time. Her chest tightened, her heart pounding in her ears and she struggled to breathe for a moment. She kept telling herself that it was just another dream, that you were a faint memory and that She would wake up any second. When she closed her eyes she knew that it was real, and then you stepped towards her slowly, almost as if to make sure she didn’t run away. Before she could say anything your arms were around her so tightly, she didn’t know if she wanted to be there or not, but out of habit she relaxed in your arms and listened to you babble your apologizes, and regrets. She didn’t say anything for a long time, and then after a few minutes she turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with questions that will never be answered…